Like many of us out there, I am the 'average' woman, I dont count callories, I dont miss out on the nicer things in life when I feel like indulging myself (Yes, I am talking about cake), I am most definitely not that crazy dedicated woman you see running down the street at 6am before she sets off for her workday!

However this also means that I am not the skinny little goddess strutting around in those glorious denim shorts, or the happy beach bunny bronzing herself in her itsy bitsy bikini . . . I am, as my darling man calls me, 'snuggly' and I do have a little 'more to love' than most and although I am happy . . . I feel that there is a whole lot more happiness to be had.

Follow me on my journey towards ultimate Health & Wellbeing. Read along as I battle the bulge, whip my body into shape, transform my habbits and become what I eat (And no, Im not referring to a block of Cadbury Dairy Milk).

Cry with me, laugh with me and watch me glow from the inside out as I transform my life into something I had always dreamed of but let procrastination do his evil little biddings.

Saturday, 27 October 2012

the master plan

when you are a mega sloth like myself and the mere thought of going for a run just makes you want to drop to the floor and play dead like some deranged possum on the highway, trying to work out a plan of attack on your flabby bits is just a nightmare!

the amount of strange and simply fucked up websites I have discovered in the past 24 hours whilst searching for the 'golden solution' to my problems is just mind boggling and simply terrifying! Some of the shit people would do just to loose weight is just amazing . . . but deffo not for me

it wasn't until I realised that I'm not actually looking for a magical solution and that I'm simply looking for something that will ease me into fitness so that my body doesn't suddenly think I'm waging world war 3 on its poor pudgy little existence, that I found what I needed

I found my master plan

* queue evil mastermind laugh 

and it goes a little like this:

Im going to kick start my fitness (and the month of November) with a 31 day exercise plan for beginners designed for those starting at home and not in a gym (in front of all those soul destroying, skinny-mini busy-body's running at full pelt on their state-of-the-art limited edition treadmills draped in the latest Nike sports wear - NIGHTMARE!).

 if all goes to plan, this should help me shed that extra layer of shame (more commonly known as 'tuckshop lady arms' or 'love handles' or 'spare tyre') and allow me to slowly develop some entry level fitness and start feeling good

Looks like I'm going to be eating not much more than nuts and berries for the month of November, but I guess if it came down to me surviving in the wild out there back in the day, i think its safe to assume that I would be the 'gatherer' type rather than the hunter . . .  so in a way I am being true to my roots - kinda - sort of - in a round about way

Good thing I love my salads! Lets get this party started  :)

the harsh truths

So here it is . . . the beginning of my new lease of life! How excitement!

Like every major change in life you must have a plan, right? Lets start with the shocking, bone chilling, hard hard truths, shall we?

oh my gosh, this is going to be simply cringe-worthy, here goes . .

My current situation looks a little like this:

This is a photo of me in Nice, France on my recent European Adventure, as you can see, I made sure I wasn't about to miss out on all the delicious gelati whilst I was globetrotting - and it shows  

Current Weight:  oh mannnn . . . . drum-roll . . . . 73.1kg

Physical Ability:  can barely run 2 meters without collapsing on the floor in a sweaty panicked heap

Current diet:  non-existent, I'm not the worst eater in the world, but no real diet plan in place that I would follow on a daily basis

Top Size:  about a 12/medium
Bra Size:  12C
Pants Size:  14 . . . I'm somewhat of a Big Booty Biatch
Shoe Size:  7

How Do I Feel?  Honestly? I feel like a water buffalo who has been squeezed and poured into a fluro Lycra mini and thrown out to the mercy of the millions of judgmental eyes of the average population.

I'm tired most of the time, when I move swiftly I can feel all the little flabby bits participating in an involuntary, yet extremely festive, Mexican wave, I don't feel healthy and I know that I am by no means physically fit. . . . Lets just say any change would be a vast improvement.

So whats the plan from here? 

The other day I was floating around one of my favourite sites, Pinterest, and I came across a particular inspirational quote that really stuck in my mind . . .

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone"
there is some food for thought