the master plan

when you are a mega sloth like myself and the mere thought of going for a run just makes you want to drop to the floor and play dead like some deranged possum on the highway, trying to work out a plan of attack on your flabby bits is just a nightmare!

the amount of strange and simply fucked up websites I have discovered in the past 24 hours whilst searching for the 'golden solution' to my problems is just mind boggling and simply terrifying! Some of the shit people would do just to loose weight is just amazing . . . but deffo not for me

it wasn't until I realised that I'm not actually looking for a magical solution and that I'm simply looking for something that will ease me into fitness so that my body doesn't suddenly think I'm waging world war 3 on its poor pudgy little existence, that I found what I needed

I found my master plan

* queue evil mastermind laugh 

and it goes a little like this:

Im going to kick start my fitness (and the month of November) with a 31 day exercise plan for beginners designed for those starting at home and not in a gym (in front of all those soul destroying, skinny-mini busy-body's running at full pelt on their state-of-the-art limited edition treadmills draped in the latest Nike sports wear - NIGHTMARE!).

 if all goes to plan, this should help me shed that extra layer of shame (more commonly known as 'tuckshop lady arms' or 'love handles' or 'spare tyre') and allow me to slowly develop some entry level fitness and start feeling good

Looks like I'm going to be eating not much more than nuts and berries for the month of November, but I guess if it came down to me surviving in the wild out there back in the day, i think its safe to assume that I would be the 'gatherer' type rather than the hunter . . .  so in a way I am being true to my roots - kinda - sort of - in a round about way

Good thing I love my salads! Lets get this party started  :)